Friends S01E01 Bilingual 老友记第一季第一集

场景一：Central Perk 咖啡馆

Monica: There’s nothing to tell

没什么好说的！

Monica: He’s just some guy I work with!

他不过是我的同事！

Joey: Come on, you’re going out with the guy!

少来了，你都要跟他约会了！

Joey: There’s gotta be something wrong with him!

这个男人肯定有问题！

Chandler: All right Joey, be nice.

打住，乔伊，嘴下留德。

Chandler: So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?

他是驼背吗？还是既驼背又戴假发？

Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk?

等等，他吃粉笔吗？

Phoebe: Just cause, I don’t want her to go through what I went through with Carl.

我只是不想她重蹈我和卡尔的覆辙。

Monica: Okay, everybody relax.

拜托各位放松点。

Monica: This is not even a date.

这甚至不算是约会。

Monica: It’s just two people going out to dinner and not having sex.

只不过是两个人出去吃个饭，而且不会上床。

Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.

听起来像是约会啊。

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场景二：时间跳转，众人闲聊

Chandler: Alright, so I’m back in high school, I’m standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked.

好吧，我梦见自己回到高中，站在食堂中央，突然发现自己全身赤裸。

All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream.

哦，对，我也做过这个梦。

Chandler: Then I look down, and I realize there’s a phone… there.

然后我往下看，发现那里有一部电话……

Joey: Instead of…?

代替了……？

Chandler: That’s right.

没错。

Joey: Never had that dream.

我从没做过这种梦。

Phoebe: No.

我也没有。

Monica: Chandler, you’re scaring me.

钱德勒，你吓到我了。

Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring.

突然，电话响了。

Chandler: Now I don’t know what to do, everybody starts looking at me.

我不知道该怎么办，所有人都看着我。

Monica: And they weren’t looking at you before?!

他们之前没看你吗？！

Chandler: Finally, I figure I’d better answer it, and it turns out it’s my mother, which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me!

最后，我觉得还是接一下，结果是我妈妈打来的，这太奇怪了，因为她从不给我打电话！

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场景三：Ross 登场，情绪低落

Ross: (walks in, dejected) Hi.

（走进来，垂头丧气）嗨。

Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.

这家伙一张嘴打招呼，我就想自杀。

Monica: Are you okay, sweetie?

你还好吧，亲爱的？

Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck…

我感觉就像有人伸进我的喉咙，抓住我的小肠，从嘴里拉出来，绕在我的脖子上……

Chandler: Cookie?

吃块饼干吗？

Monica: (to Chandler) Stop!

（对钱德勒）别闹了！

Monica: (to Ross) Carol moved her stuff out today.

（对罗斯）卡罗尔今天把她的东西搬走了。

Joey: Ohh.

哦。

Ross: No, no, no, I don’t want to talk about it right now, okay?

不，不，不，我现在不想谈这个，好吗？

Ross: I just wanna be alone.

我只想一个人待着。

Monica: You sure you don’t want something to eat?

你确定不想吃点东西吗？

Ross: No, thanks.

不用了，谢谢。

Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! I can feel your skull!

哦！哦！我能感觉到你的头骨！

Ross: Excuse me?

什么？

Phoebe: Your skull, I can feel it!

你的头骨，我能感觉到！

Ross: Phoebe, that’s my head.

菲比，那是我的头。

Phoebe: Okay, sorry.

好吧，抱歉。

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场景四：Rachel 逃婚闯入咖啡馆

(Rachel bursts in, soaking wet, wearing a wedding dress)

（瑞秋浑身湿透，穿着婚纱冲进来）

Rachel: Oh my God!

哦，天哪！

Monica: Rachel?!

瑞秋？！

Rachel: (gasps) Monica!

（喘气）莫妮卡！

Monica: Hi!

嗨！

Rachel: (hugs Monica) Thank God!

（拥抱莫妮卡）谢天谢地！

Monica: Are you okay? Oh my God, what happened?

你还好吗？天哪，发生什么事了？

Rachel: Oh God… well, it started about a half hour before the wedding.

哦，天哪…… 婚礼开始前半小时，事情就不对劲了。

Rachel: I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat.

我在放礼物的房间里，看着这个调味船。

Rachel: This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat.

一个超漂亮的拉莫吉牌调味船。

Rachel: When all of a sudden- (to waitress) Sweet ‘n’ Lo?- I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry!

突然 ——（对服务员）要代糖吗？—— 我发现我对这个调味船的兴趣比对巴里还大！

Rachel: And then I got really freaked out, and that’s when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head.

然后我吓坏了，突然意识到：巴里长得太像土豆先生了。

Rachel: Y’know, I mean, I always knew he looked familiar, but…

你知道，我一直觉得他眼熟，但……

Rachel: Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering ‘Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?’

总之，我必须离开那里，我开始想：我为什么要这么做？我为谁这么做？

Rachel: (to Monica) So anyway I just didn’t know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but you’re the only person I knew who lived here in the city.

（对莫妮卡）所以我不知道该去哪里，我知道我们有点疏远了，但你是我在这个城市里唯一认识的人。

Monica: Who wasn’t invited to the wedding.

还是没被邀请参加婚礼的人。

Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn’t be an issue…

哦，我还希望这不是个问题……

Monica: C’mon in, I’ll get you some coffee.

进来吧，我给你倒杯咖啡。

Rachel: Thanks.

谢谢。

Monica: (to everyone) Alright, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor.

（对众人）好了，各位，这是瑞秋，另一个林肯高中的幸存者。

Monica: This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?

这是大家，这是钱德勒，菲比，乔伊，还有 —— 你记得我哥哥罗斯吗？

Rachel: Hi, sure!

嗨，当然记得！

Ross: Hi.

嗨。

(Ross tries to hug Rachel, but his umbrella opens, hitting him. He sits down, defeated)

（罗斯想拥抱瑞秋，但伞突然打开，打到他。他沮丧地坐下）

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场景五：Rachel 决定独立生活

Rachel: (on phone) Hi, Dad.

（打电话）嗨，爸爸。

Rachel: No, I’m not married.

不，我没结婚。

Rachel: No, I didn’t elope.

不，我没私奔。

Rachel: I just didn’t want to be a shoe.

我只是不想当一只鞋。

Rachel: You know, you know how you always wanted me to be…

你知道，你一直希望我成为……

Rachel: A shoe?

一只鞋？

Rachel: I don’t want to be a shoe!

我不想当鞋！

Rachel: I want to be a purse!

我想当一个包！

Rachel: No, Dad, listen to me!

不，爸爸，听我说！

Rachel: I can’t live off your money my entire life.

我不能一辈子靠你的钱生活。

Rachel: No, I don’t want to be a princess!

不，我不想当公主！

Rachel: I want to be… I want to be…

我想成为…… 我想成为……

Rachel: I don’t know what I want!

我不知道我想要什么！

Rachel: I just know that I don’t want this!

我只知道我不想要这样的生活！

Rachel: (hangs up, crying) I’m sorry.

（挂电话，哭）对不起。

Monica: Hey, c’mere.

嘿，过来。

Monica: (hugs Rachel) It’s okay, you’re gonna be okay.

（拥抱瑞秋）没事的，你会好起来的。

Rachel: I don’t even know how to do anything.

我什么都不会做。

Rachel: I don’t even know how to boil water.

我连烧开水都不会。

Monica: That’s okay, I’ll teach you.

没关系，我教你。

Monica: And hey, you can stay with me.

而且，你可以和我住在一起。

Rachel: Really?

真的吗？

Monica: Yeah, of course.

当然。

Rachel: Oh, thank you!

哦，谢谢你！

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场景六：Ross 表达心意，众人鼓励 Rachel

Ross: (to Monica) So, uh, Rachel’s here.

（对莫妮卡）所以，呃，瑞秋来了。

Monica: Yeah.

是啊。

Ross: And she’s single.

而且她单身。

Monica: Yes.

是的。

Ross: And I’m single.

我也单身。

Monica: Are you gonna go talk to her?

你要去跟她说话吗？

Ross: No, no, no, I can’t.

不，不，不，我不行。

Ross: I just got divorced!

我刚离婚！

Ross: I’m only 26, and I’m divorced!

我才 26 岁，就离婚了！

Joey: Shut up!

闭嘴！

Chandler: Come on, stop!

拜托，打住！

Ross: That only took me an hour.

我只花了一小时就接受了。

Chandler: You gotta understand, between us we haven’t had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento.

你得明白，我们俩的恋爱关系都没超过一颗曼妥思的时间。

Chandler: You, however have had the love of a woman for four years.

而你，却拥有一个女人四年的爱。

Chandler: Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don’t do it!

四年的亲密与分享，最后她把你的心撕碎，这就是我们不谈恋爱的原因！

Ross: You know what the scariest part is?

你知道最可怕的是什么吗？

Ross: What if there’s only one woman for everybody, y’know?

如果每个人命中注定只有一个女人呢？

Ross: I mean what if you get one woman- and that’s it?

如果你遇到一个女人，就定了呢？

Ross: Unfortunately in my case, there was only one woman…

不幸的是，对我来说，只有一个女人……

Ross: And she just left me.

而她刚离开我。

Monica: (to Rachel) C’mon, you gotta do something.

（对瑞秋）来吧，你得做点什么。

Rachel: Like what?

比如？

Monica: Like, cut up your credit cards.

比如，剪掉你的信用卡。

Rachel: What?

什么？

Monica: Welcome to the real world!

欢迎来到现实世界！

Monica: It sucks.

很糟糕。

Monica: You’re gonna love it.

但你会爱上它的。

(Rachel takes a pair of scissors and cuts up her father’s credit card)

（瑞秋拿起剪刀，剪掉了爸爸的信用卡）

Rachel: (smiling) Okay.

（微笑）好了。

All: Yay!

耶！

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场景七：结尾，众人在公寓

Monica: Alright, who’s hungry?

好了，谁饿了？

Joey: I’m hungry.

我饿了。

Chandler: Me too.

我也是。

Phoebe: Let’s get pizza!

我们去吃披萨吧！

Ross: (to Rachel) So, uh, welcome to the neighborhood.

（对瑞秋）所以，呃，欢迎来到这个社区。

Rachel: Thanks.

谢谢。

Ross: I’m really glad you’re here.

我真的很高兴你来了。

Rachel: Me too.

我也是。

(The camera pulls back as the six friends laugh and talk, the beginning of their journey together)

（镜头拉远，六个朋友欢声笑语，他们的故事就此开始）